Inside My Head

Not really a good place to be

I dont want to get up.
rolling draco

That is how I feel right now. I want to just be able to roill around on the floor like draco Malfoy all day.

Attempting to eat a muffin... And dont take that out of context.
So I've been in bed for a little over a week now, after 5 doctors Visits, 3 almost trips to the hospital and 15 freak outs, I'm on the mend.
See what I mean about my body being retarded? It just is. This time I got some random infection in my lymphnodes and then my mouth swelled up and got full of ulcers and i couldnt move, I couldnt eat (Still cant really, you should see me try to eat this muffin, its like trying to watch Patsy eat a crisp) and couldnt drink.

After being on 6 different kinds of medication, I am on the mend and should be back at work next week. Christ. Thats another 2 weeks without work gone.

We've had to push back our wedding so I can get some tests done and such. I'm not happy about it, but at least this means I have another year to plan the wedding I want rather than just accept stuff because i'm sick and dont have enough energy to deal with it. Still... I dont want to have to wait longer to get married. I'm Terribly sad about it.
I just cant
I guess it will take me a while to get used to things, and realise that I need to sort my health out and find out what the fuck is wrong with me before putting myself through anymore stress. I'm so wise right now.

Sitting in bed in my work jumper is it is the warmest thing I own in this country.
I'm cold. I'm not normally cold in this country, but today/ recently/ this winter I am. I think maybe its because I'm sick. I dont know. I gather that could be a decent factor in this problem. will take my temperature with my 'happy' thermometer my darling fiance bought me. Its happy because it's yellow... there is no other reason for it to be happy other than that. It sometimes makes me happy when it tells me my temperature is normal, like now. Happy Days with my Happy Thermometer. I'm not kidding, I really do get very excited when my temp is normal, you may think I am weird for this, you'd be right. In actual fact, I have recently recovered from a month and a half long illness involving some water born thing that is only found in certain countries. No one knows how I got it. Anyway, I was sick for ages and and would freak out whenever my temp went up cause my doc said i'd have to go into hospital if it went above a certain temp. So naturally I panicked when it went up point one of a degree. When I get temps, i tend to get really sick, so I dont think i'm strange for being excited about having a normal temp as I havent had one in the longest time so YAY! GO ME AND MY NORMAL BODY TEMP!
thumbs up
Anyway, on a more serious note. I went to Work today, got to be in a room with a good friend of mine who was actually my first assistant when I became a group leader and we were with all our old kids. When I say old kids I mean they were in my room last year (I was group leader in the Babies room and Sheri was my assistant) but now they are all toddlers and extremely funny. one of the little girls is obsessed with sunglasses and had like 7 pairs in her bag and was letting the other kids wear them and such. Sheri thought it would be funny to put a pipe cleaner in Raquels hair and shape it into one of the hair styles lady gaga has. I'm pretty sure it was the funniest thing I have ever seen, we also got raquel to respond to being called Gaga. Then Poppy wanted to join in so we had two Gaga's and it became very confusing as they too were getting confused as to who we were talking to. Poppy must have thought she looked so different with sunglasses on because she would walk up to people and go "Hello Hello!" then take off the glasses and say "haha its me!" 2 year olds are funny. Sometimes I wish I had more 2 year old friends, they're great fun except for when they're not and throwing tantrums, then they are not so fun and I want to give them back to their parents.

Sickness... GAH
So I am suffering from Night sickness... a sickness which only likes to piss me off a night making it impossible for me to do anything during the day as I am kept up all night. I guess i cant blame it all on the sickness, its mainly the cat, Tom is on nightshift and the Cat is incredibly in love with him and cat live without him for 12 hours, so he winges all night and scratches at the door. One would think that this means he wants to go out, so what do I do? I get out of bed and let him out. Only to have him scratch at the door 2 minutes later wanting to come back in. Then the process repeats itself for several hours.
Who am I kidding? it DOESNT STOP!  Plus I am already angry cause a so called friend of mine posted some shit on facebook about how she doesnt get that people can win medals by sitting on a horse in the olympics and Roller derby isnt even a sport registered at the olympics. That made me rage.
babydoll gun
Honestly, think before you comment on something you have no clue about! She has never sat on a horse before so she wouldnt understand the amount of hard work that goes into training for any event like that. Christ almight.
Its good though, I needed to have a rage at something, other than the cat. She just commented "oh good, I knew I would get the horse people steamed up." Well done for achieving that then.
unimpressed clap
I am making myself go to work tomorrow, I've been trying to make myself all week but it hasnt worked as i've been sick. I cant get over that, I'll just do a short day and then I'll be fine.
Anyway going to watch silly teenaged drama that i shouldnt like but I do before bed.

Spider-man was amazing, but it was always going to be good due to the fact that Andrew Garfield is in it. I do appreciate a bit of him... like the time he was in doctor who..allkinds
There he is... how incredibly awesome is he? I don't know... I wish Martha wasn't in that episode... I hate Martha. Don't get angry at me if you love her, that is your issue not mine.

We got home at like 11.30 as we went to a late showing and then we watched Sherlock. I do in fact think there may be another obsession coming on.

Tumblr is ruining my life.

Tax is a bitch.
I really dont want to have to go and do my tax today, but i have been putting it off for a whole month and I do actually get money out of it so I dont know why I'm not doing it. Its just all the numbers and the annoying questions, honestly i read them and i'm like what the hell does that mean?

the questions are fairly simple, but i think they deliberately try to fuck with your head. like there will be a question about claiming for uniforms or whatever, i'll read it as:

Honestly, what do they expect us to do that without an official interpretation of the question, and even that would be as fucked up as the original question. Oh well, i guess that is why i have my aunty to help me, we go through the questions and I dont even bother reading half of them cause she just says no whenever they dont apply to me. Its great really.

So we are going to have a date night tonight, we are going to see spiderman, and that is about it really. Not much of a date, but we need to get out of the house and stop sending each other funny pictures through facebook chat when we are in the same house and only a room apart.
We're are a pretty anti-social couple I suppose. Its not our fault, if we lived back home in Christchurch we would do stuff, but my best friend here in Aus is currently doing the touristy thing in the UK and Europe for three weeks. I miss her to the extreme and she has only been gone 2 days. this may be the longest 3 weeks of my life.

We kind of have a social life when she is here, last weekend we were pretty social, me and my friend Ash went and got tattoo's together, and then we all went out for dinner with like 8 other people and drank margarita's and Mojito's, then we came back to my place and watched Ab Fab until the early hours of the morning, there were about 5 of us staying in our tiny house, and the next day was my birthday so we had eggs benne, which I had to make and clean up. The joys of having people over at your house on your brithday.

Em wasnt there though she had to leave early in the morning as she had work and had to be on a plane and stuff. She is one of those flight attendant things. she likes it. I miss her, i wish she would stop being a tourist and come back already. I dont know what I am going to do if she gets this new job working for Emirates, she'll be based in Dubai and I will be sad.

It will be the end of the world. But i will be a married woman then... or almost so that will be weird and I wont live here anymore either, we'll be back home in christchurch.

I Craved a margarita last night, I had all the stuff to make one except for Ice... so i attempted to masterchef it up a bit and deconstruct one. The taste was anything but margarita like.
It was the first time in my life I used WATER as a Mixer. I was not impressed. I eneded up drinking Tom's whiskey and ginger ale. I think it actually put hair on my chest.

I suppose I should actually get up, its almost midday and i'm still in bed with the laptop. Oh well, its saturday, what else am I meant to do.

It's Been a while....


Oh God, It's been so long.
Sometimes I miss writing things like this, so i guess I have started it again. I have changed... a lot for example:
  1. I am now old and going through a quarter life crisis
  2. I am now Engaged and I am OVER planning this wedding.
  3. I am living in Australia (for now) and I am extremely homesick
  4. There were a few huge earthquakes back home which is making it hard for us to be able to move home.
  5. I am now a Kindergarten Teacher but my immune system is so shitty that my doctor thinks its best for me to not work with children...
  6. glasscase
  7. My sister is now married with another Child.
  8. Josie is still my best friend.
  9. tumblr_m4z9p0QH291r5dsp6o1_250
I am rather embarrassed about all the shit I used to talk about, i mean, how annoying was I? I just read back over Jo's old journal though, and it is truly amazing. It is the most amazing and funny thing I have read in a long time and reminds me of how much I miss living down the road from her. Now I live across a stupid ocean.
I am now in love with several things:
  1. Still Harry Potter
  2. Still Transformers
  3. Supernatural
  4. Doctor Who
  5. Still Alice in wonderland
  6. Always Buffy
  7. Assassin's Creed
  8. Saints Row
  9. other annoyingly addictive Games and Movies and Such.
I shall also post a lot of GIF's as they make me happy... they should make you happy too.
I don't know why I am even bothering writing again on here, I highly doubt anyone will read this ever again. I think for me it is more of an outlet. I have been writing a lot of stories lately, as I have done all my life, and they have sort of been an outlet. I have about 6 different plots on the go at once though (which is a bad bad thing) Now I have one giant writers block and cant be bothered with any of them. Lameness.

Anyway... I may go, there is a couple of hundred police cars driving down my street so I am wanting to go have a nosy around. Okay so I still exaggerate a lot, there are only like 4 not a couple of hundred, It's not like my yellow Camaro has stolen itself and I need all available units to help. Anyone get that? Surely the Camaro thing was a give away? No?

Transformers and Harry Potter
I've realised that I have not been on here i9n god knows how long.... well actually live journal knows how long and now, thanks to them, I do too. 18 weeks. Good gracious. Thats just horrific. Though its not like anyone reads this, and I do write at home, Just so its a little bit more private and such. I really need my own computer and then i think i will be on this jolly thing all the time.

I'm off to watch my Nephews soccer final today, I always have a lot of fun watching 6 and 7 year olds run after a ball like their lives depend on it, and then once they get too close to it they get scared and then suddenly stop chasing it.  I really should get ready. I just got home from Toms house. So i'm still in my clothes from yesterday and I'm drinking a strong coffee to keep me away. I will drink another strong coffee once i get to soccer as well.

Procrastination is my middle name.

If I were a transformer... I think My name would be retardatron. and I'd never have a single form to tranform into. Man it would suck to be Scorponok. He's stuck as a massive giant freaking scorpion, so technically... he's not a transformer, because he cant transform. Why is Megatron so mean to starscream as well? Answer me that. Honestly, Its like Wormtail and voldemort in harry potter. Megatron is the big meanie, like voldy, and Starscream is just the faithful servant, like wormtail only wormtail is not as cool because he's not a transformer. Though he could be with the rat abilities. actually... Optimus is much like dumbledore. I think there is a similar theme going on here. Though i think Jetfire is more dumbledore like with his old age.... but he reminds me of snape with the being with the baddies and then changing sides. The twins are like the twins on harry potter, fred and george, always up to Trouble. Bumblebee... well bumblebee is just bumblebee, I usppose he's a little like a mixture of sirius and Remus all rolled into one. I havent decided who the main characters from harry potter are like yet... but i will.  I HAVE TO GO! FREAKING HELL!

I've been writing about how tranformers and harry potter are similar for about 15 minutes. Stopping every now and then to contemplate what I have written and paying no attention to the time. I, if i do say so myself, am truly a retardatron.

Fuddle Fuddle Fuddle.
SO last night, I stayed at tom's. as usual on the weekend now. Anyway his cat gave me extreme hay fever so i took a hay fever tablet. But I will probably never drink and take a hay fever tablet again in my life.. as i passed out until he woke me up this morning and even then i kept drifting in and out of 'sleep'. Bad idea, so i was drugged this morning. And sat in the car while he went and got food before he ran around the forrest and shot people with a BB gun. (which is what he does with his spare time). Its not random people he shoots, its other people that have BB guns also... Just in case you were thinking. Not that you were thinking because no one ever reads these things, which i dont care about anyway. ANywho.. getting back to the point.. So i sat there in the car in the palms car park feeling drugged and such and stared at the old lady sitting in the car parked infornt of ours. I Wasnt trying to look at her funy or snything, in fact, I wasn't even aware that I WAS staring. But I must have been as she gave me a horrible look before she got out of her car and walked into the Mall.

So, i really just wanted to sleep.hmmm I just forgot that i was actually doing this and started looking at wedding photos. I may go harrass people and eat some food.


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